* Originally written 14 August 2014, slight amendment 18 April 2022*

I’m bummed about the world as it is today.  Not because of war or violence or whatever other reason people usually think of.  I’m bummed because of the creativity that isn’t quite there anymore.

There was a poster for Cantinflas up near my house and although I’m probably going to see the movie I’m disappointed.  It’s not that people are running out of ideas but that people are not really cementing their own personalities for others to admire.  People have become bland and unexciting.  Yes, there is work and art continually produced but there is no long-lasting connection with the person or artist.  You don’t see some thing that distinctly belongs to some one.  There is no saying if this is just a lull or a lapse of recovery but it does worry me to not see the kinds of progress that have been present in the past.

I suppose my mind won’t really ever be at ease because there is no guarantee of seeing how long things last or what will carry on and how long I recognize not all people lack the creativity I write about.  There is definitely a handful (probably a little more) that will leave their impressions on levels above most others.  But I guess that’s how it has always been.  The smallest percent of the most people are the few that truly endure time.  Because it doesn’t take only one lifetime to recognize what is great.  Not only that: the differences over time create more variance for comparisons and at a certain point it becomes unfair for those things yet to be. 

People say that there is progress but realistically it is not in us.  They say it is in the things we use: tools and the like.  Limits are what we create the most.  Things we can and cannot do.  Things we can and cannot say.  More rules and more guidelines are being set because people cannot conform to their own truths.  They cannot adjust to their own evolutions.  Fear and lies create instability and remove tranquility and ease.  There is no peace of mind or peace within the self. 

Most of all people seem to limit their options.  They set numbers and labels.  People often overlook the things I say.  I choose my words carefully (more often than not).  People attribute often one meaning to a phrase instead of understanding each word and its relation to the words around it to create the sentence and its relevance to the conversation.  But I don’t make it easy either.  I don’t usually explain myself or say something outright and people don’t know how my thoughts process or function.  My conversations take some getting used to.  And even then they’re tough.  People just don’t ask enough questions nor do they know which questions to ask. 

But I have faith.  There is still hope.  As much as I lack trust I offer the same amount in expecting people to prove me wrong.  I maintain a belief in people to exceed their own selves and continue growing and learning.  There is always time.  We’ll see what happens…maybe.

When people find an answer they stop asking questions.  Even before that: it’s tough; to try to carve a path on your own.  You start a new direction and it’s empty at first but as soon as people see open space they flock to it and crowd around so they can all fit better.  It’s easier just to quit and follow the herd.  That way you feel comfortable and well-adjusted.  It’s not that people don’t want to progress but everyone else is intrudingly overwhelming.  It’s fighting a wave in the ocean or driving into oncoming traffic.  People are relentless and a person is fragile.  Most scenarios don’t make it easy in any way.  Especially when so many people don’t deal with major issues on a regular basis they find it even more difficult in terms of how to respond to these kinds of problems without falling apart.  J.K. mentioned not being motivated or inspired and he has a point.  It’s getting so much harder just to find a reason to keep pushing back or to keep reaching further.  We’ve regressed to taking small steps because we don’t know which way to go.  The fear that comes from the unknown is containing us; keeping us from taking leaps and our faiths can’t outweigh those fears.

The standard is becoming less valuable because of so many people doing the same things and wanting similar outcomes.  But it’s not just that people aren’t trying they just kind of reach a limit and think there’s no passing it.  Living right now is at a place where it seems there can be no change.  But our progress doesn’t just rely on our environment.  It’s also on us: the individual, the community.

There’s no more depth.  The meaning is superficial and empty.  Everything is for the moment and for the self.  People are too concerned with themselves therefore they don’t branch out.  People don’t really look to others or the future nor are they really interested in giving themselves up to help others.  We don’t look for things that bring us together.  We don’t have the same ultimate goal.  On the individual level: no one really has any answers.  Nothing finite or certain.

I find myself in good company.  Both with others and by myself.  More often: the latter.  A little by choice but also because I allow myself to be harmlessly controlled by those around me.  A lot of the time I’m left alone and I think back on what happens and linger in mind and in body.  I watch.  I notice things as they happen.  I pay attention.  People don’t hold doors.  They don’t help reach the top shelf.  They don’t worry about the well-being of others.  And it’s not only that they don’t but that people can’t anymore.  Every incident allows for greater risks of unnecessary consequence.  People have started to retaliate and backlash at the help of others.  And if it is not a response out of anger it is an attack on the innocent and good-intentioned which only further defers the desire to aide where it is needed. 

There is no longer any trust.  People don’t make it easy to battle the currents.  It is wave after wave until you cave.  And despite any attempt at breaking away it’s as if people look for differences just to extinguish them before they grow into change.

But there are those that try.  And they fight back far past their limits: as much as physically as they can mentally and then more after that.  And it is in seeing those people that I regain my leverage and hope; that I keep writing and try to show those around me that there is worth and merit in our resistance…

18 April 2022

I stand by the words written before. I only write to amend the previous. It is not that there is no creativity. Rather, the most popular is that which is profitable. There is no monetary profit in art. People that create do so for themselves, on smaller scales, with a much smaller audience. I still believe there are limits that need surpassing. Though, those poignant creations – the works that endure the most – are not contained within one lifetime.