At times, there is a difficulty in life. This difficulty is in finding meaning. In these times – these difficulties – it is important to remember the areas of life in which we find purpose. More importantly, it is necessary to remind ourselves of the things in life that we enjoy.

We must do this to challenge ourselves but also to find satisfaction. Writing has become one of the few places where I can fully – truly – express myself. Beyond this, there are not many other mediums; I don’t have many other options. I am limited by my own anxieties paired with the social construction of expected progressions of interaction.

I write now, with my eyes closed as a challenge to myself in writing correctly and accurately without visual confirmation. So many things we do habitually. We do not think about ourselves doing them and we do not remind ourselves of the things we have memorized.

As I consciously stream my thoughts, they are guided by the writings of Kenzaburo Oe. One of his stories asks for guidance in uncovering the secrets within madness. The problem is that there are no truths revealed. The only truth is that people are not taught these secrets. Moreover, people who ask become outcast and must deal with this non-lesson individually, resulting in the same outcome: isolation, passing the time, just to find death as the answer.

I myself have come to a similar realization. I am still not sure if it is spite or an interest in the fact that this is not the only outcome but I continue to press on. I hope that I can help create meaning, even if that meaning is only an alternative to the current truths we find in life.