An Image of Space from the World

[Originally written in August 2014. This was posted on a different site, where one of my friends allowed me to spread all of my rambles and thoughts relating to movies and general life-things. It was accompanied by Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata,” which was his doing; apparently, it fit perfectly. Current accompaniment: Pink Floyd’s “One of These Days.” I have not changed anything. Scratch; I actually changed a few sentences for grammar and clarity.]

There is no void. Emptiness does not exist. Even if it may seem as though there is nothing, something is always present.

Darkness.

Light appears often to create contrast and allow for alternate perspectives. But it does not eliminate what it covers. Shadows remain. Semblances of what was and of what will return.

It is inescapable. It inhabits and consumes. It is vast and unending. There is also depth within. Not only gloom and desolation but tranquility and seclusion. Most often seen as frightening and lifeless. But people’s limits are the blinding components. The visualization is only one aspect of understanding a feature or characteristic: an understanding often forgotten. Not only are the limits of the self that which impose on darkness it is also the influence from others that creates the connotations of darkness within one’s mind.

Strength within is something that continually — gradually — seems to decline. Not because people are weak but because of instances like doubt and confusion; because they are lost. There is no guide with which anyone will travel.

Death — as the only existing guide — promotes fear and has been labeled, as Darkness has, without a comforting factor. But Death is the contrast to Life. As Yin is to Yang: there is no balance without both. There is completion in both. Feer is rooted in uncertainty and the uncertainty comes from the events that occur after death.

What people won’t allow is for death to act as the completing factor. They only allow for perspective to be created during Life. But without a second half, a significant Other, there is no balanse, sense, or structure.

But the Darkness does consume heavier than the Light. It creates its own uncertainty among unstable ground, promoting what people often accept as hopelessness. But neither is there certainty in any person’s words who has yet to encounter personal darkness in death. This ground is not a simple path and possibly not one to which every person will be attentive.

The Fall of Man

“Tracy, come here. We’ve been together for a long time now. Do you remember all those walks we shared? The time together, the time apart?  I feel like my days are numbered and I don’t really know what to do.” Tracy yawned in response.

“It’s like I don’t belong here anymore – I mean, you’re still around, but I don’t know if I need to be.” Tracy sat down next to him.

“You know what I mean?” He looked over. “My bones are brittle, my home is lonely, I’m tired and I feel like I should move on.”

Tracy looked up, then back down again.

“There is no reason anymore. I need something else, something meaningful, something to do, someone to live with. There’s something missing Tracy, a gap, a hole that needs to be filled.” He put a hand between Tracy’s shoulders. “What would I do without you, Tracy?”

Tracy looked over lovingly.

“I can’t look at you like that. It’s just too much right now – I just don’t know. There’s too much going on but nothing I can do about any of it.”

Tracy whined.

“I miss her Tracy. Lily’s gone and I can’t live without her. I can’t do it alone.” His eyes started to swell, and he couldn’t keep his will anymore. Tracy stood by his side the entire time.

“I love you Tracy, I couldn’t have gotten through any of this without you by my side.  There were always others, but no one like you. You were mine, always. There was no winning you, or buying your love – I didn’t have to woo you, or anything. You were simply there. That’s what makes this so hard, I can’t just leave you alone. I have to stay here, if only for you. I can’t go now, that would be selfish, and that’s all I’ve been since I’ve had you.”

“You’ve convinced me Tracy, I’m all yours now, I have nothing to devote any of my time to aside from you.”

Tracy leaned in closer.  She rested her head on his lap and stared into his eyes with more adoration than any human could ever fathom. He finally lost his will.  He fell to the ground, and held Tracy with such love and care: gently.

“You’re all I’ve got left, you have to promise me that you won’t leave me. And you have my word that I won’t leave you. It’s just you and me. There’s nothing else.” Finally, he got up. He walked across the living room, put on his coat and hat. It was late, almost midnight. He walked back across the room and reached for his cane, all the while Tracy at his side. He looked at the leash, there was no need. He was just going for a walk. It had been over a month since last they walked together. He reached for the door and let Tracy out first. She walked out quickly and turned to wait for him as he gathered his things. Tears still filled his eyes, but he was feeling better. Together they walked out, and listlessly strolled down the driveway, then through the park. There was nowhere to go other than Lily’s bench. Together, they stared at the moon, fully lit, for the first time in years. They slowly made their way through the grass alone, together. All they had was each other, and that’s all they needed. They got to Lily’s bench, he sat down.  Tracy jumped on the bench and lay next to him.  She put her paws on his lap as he looked out past the trees. The night grew dark.